"…the camera panned over a handout that Michelle brought to the event, and the content was pretty unsettling. TLC maybe included this shot for people like us, who of course paused it and advanced the frames to read as much of it as we could, and, whooo boy, was it unpleasant. It was all about how to make your husband happy in a marriage, which is of paramount importance to patriarch-dominated Quiverfull families. There were things about how wives shouldn’t refuse their husbands’ sexual advances, about how self-reliance is what kills marriages, about not stepping out of bounds in terms of what your responsibilities are as a wife (do too much and you emasculate him, you see).”
Hey ladies! Do you want your marriage to last? Let your husband rape you you big idiots!
- Constantly worry about your perceived lack of national identity. - Be an ardent fan of the Mother Corp (CBC). - Learn your election ABCs (Anyone But Conservatives). - Play/watch/think hockey. - Drink coffee. Over 63 per cent of Canadians drink coffee daily. In comparison, approximately 49 per cent of Americans are daily drinkers. - Be unfailingly polite. - Don’t forget to wear a t-shirt that says “Canada” on it at least 3 times a month, and at all times while travelling abroad. - Hang a picture of Queen Elizabeth II in your living room. Sing “God Save the Queen” every morning and every night. Tender kisses optional. - Learn French. Just kidding, no one outside Quebec knows French. - We are all cray for gay (and bi, and trans, and ect. ect.), so get used to it.
That’s it. Welcome to your new home. Please take your shoes off before coming in. Thank you.