My apartment desperately needs to be cleaned before I have guests over. I’m not expecting anyone right now but if any of my friends decide to pop by I would like my place to look less like a garbage dump and more like a recycling plant.
So if any idiots out there are bored and need some cash, you could come over and help me clean my apartment. I will provide you with one (1) beer, one (1) sandwich of my choosing, and twenty dollars*. You will provide me with one (1) case of beer, one (1) loaf of bread, and your cleaning services. Must be OK with me being partially or fully nude. Must have experience dealing with wild animals including bats, stray dogs & cats, raccoons, squirrels, opossums, and crows.
I don’t have a front door because I ripped it off to throw at some kids playing skateboards, so just walk in.
*When I get a job I will totally pay you.