If- If I could- If I had- Oh God, if- If I could reach you If I could drag you down To the hard ground And rip at you And claw at you Nails scrubbing skin Hands twisting sinew Rend you Pull you apart If I could lay you down Among the other dead Open your ribcage up Fish through the gore Find the…
You know, I’ve been wanting to write a serious post about what occurred in Norway, but this is far more poetic and emotional than I could hope for.
Watching the news would have you believe that the Republican controlled Congress in the United States isn’t acting quick enough to work out a deal with the Democrats to end the debt crisis. This is accurate and should be believed. However, I just want to let my American friends know that if Congress doesn’t act quick enough, you guys can always just move to a developed country* whose economy escaped financial ruin as a result of an American default.
*Offer not valid in Andorra, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Bermuda, Canada, Denmark, Faroe Islands, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Holy See, Iceland, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Malta, Monaco, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, San Marino, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Turkey, and the United Kingdom.
What did my grandfather fight in the Second World War for if I can’t smell people on the subway or look through their bags when they’re not looking?
What country is this? Soviet Germany?
No. I will not come with you, officer. Just because my lifestyle may be “unfashionable” and I might make people feel “uncomfortable” and I might not be an “upstanding citizen who pays their taxes or votes or wipes properly after going to the washroom”, it doesn’t make me a criminal. “Harassment”, you say? Well how’s this for harassment? That’s right, I’m not wearing any clothes under this trenchcoat. Bet you didn’t see that coming, did you officer?
Where are you taking me? To the Gulags? My grandfather fought and killed people who unjustly imprisoned others. Sure, it was in a Walmart parking lot and yes, the “people” he was killing were pigeons and seagulls and OK, he was taken away to a nursing home, but does it take away from what he was fighting for? It does?
Hello? I can see you over there. I know you can hear me. I could slip right through these bars, you know. I’d be out of this holding cell, running around the streets of this fair city and you’d lose your job. I know you can hear me. What are you writing down? Is it a letter to your wife, admitting all your war crimes against humanity? Is it a letter of admission to your lawyer? I am in this cell unjustly, and at your hands.
Seriously, I know you can hear me. Can I go to the washroom? I don’t want to poop in front of these people. Hello?
I think you've always wanted to see me without clothes on... I posted photos WITH MY FACE COVERED at AllSinglesLinkUp ) dot ( com just go there create a profile and find ''summatime574041'' then guess who the fuck I am and message me on AIM or something
Pretty sure you've always wanted to see me naked.. Well.. I'm feeling pretty adventurous today so go to datelink4[dot]com (switch [dot] with .) then sign up and find my profile under the username 'lolsummer69'. I hid my face in the pictures. but I want you to guess who I am and then hit me up on Facebook lol. Good luck.
Hey, you big dummies! Guess which handsome, smart, all around good guy is going to have a bunch of sex tonight?
I sat in the stall, frantically wondering what I was supposed to do.
"Sir, the mall closed half an hour ago. You’re going to have to come out of there soon," the security guard said.
I hugged my knees closer to my chest and remained completely silent. “Go away!” I thought. I began to sweat.
Approximately four hours earlier, when I was sitting on the toilet eating my lunch, a group of skateboarding kids reached under the stall door and took my pants away from me. And so I sat, like an idiot, wondering what to do.
"Why didn’t I wear underwear today?" I thought.
"Hello? Sir, I know you’re in there. You have to come out soon," the security guard said.