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Dead Inside

I take pictures and sometimes write words and I am dead inside. Welcome. Please leave your shoes at the front door. ____________________________________________________________________ Electronic mail can be sent to: alan.w.harris@gmail.com    

Scotland referendum: Warnings mount about economic harm

If you’d like proof that the “Yes” side of Scotland’s referendum is made of people who are - for lack of a better term - complete morons, here’s an article detailing the economic harm that will befall an independent Scotland, warnings which apparently make no difference to those using emotion, and not logic, to govern their decision making process. 

Is it any wonder the majority of the “Yes” vote is comprised of people under 40?

Anonymous asked: you take yourself too seriously

Yesterday while I was at coffee with a prospective employer I went to the bathroom. When finished I put my willy back in my trousers and some pee came out of it, leaving very noticeable wet marks. I attempted to “Mr. Bean” my way out of the situation by thrusting my groin at the hand dryer, but to no avail. 

Now I’m probably known around town as “pee pee boy” or some other such moniker. No word yet on whether I got the job.

Sunday in the Park #4, Montreal, 24th of August, 2014

Sunday in the Park #4, Montreal, 24th of August, 2014

The only thing I find surprising regarding Urban Outfitters’ “Kent State” massacre sweater is that people find it surprising. I imagine a “Columbine” sweater isn’t too far off.

We live in the Post-Meaning Age, in which nothing is sacred and everything is subject to commodification: “Boy” clothing uses a symbol so painfully close to that used by the Nazi regime that it wouldn’t be silly to believe it is a legitimate tongue in cheek reference to Herr Fuhrer; Che Guevara graces the t-shirts of those using Apple products; Christian imagery graces the clothing of atheists who cry over cultural appropriation; the most popular female “musician” uses the term “feminist” as a marketing tool, and self proclaimed “feminists” gobble it up, instead of seeing through the very thin facade; our homes and furnishings are now nothing but cruel mockeries of architecture and design from previous generations. I could go on and on and on and on, but I hope that you see my point.

This is the age of pure superficiality; an age characterized by the complete disregard for critical thought and foresight and sacredness; an age when those who claim to fight ignorance are themselves no less ignorant than the subjects of their ignorance; an age when the “love of science” is not equal to the understanding or application of such; an age of complete truthiness; an age of hedonism, selfishness, and individualism; an age when genuine intelligence is drowned out by unbridled, collective stupidity; an age of calling people “Nazi” and “fascist” and “oppressor” so as to dilute the genuine definition of the words and to remove the knee-quaking terror the labels ought to induce; an age during which the chickens coming home to roost are mistaken for unwarranted attacks on our society; an age in which love and commitment is readily sacrificed for lust; an age which - historically - precedes the collapse of civilization.

Our goose is cooked, and the signs are increasingly obvious and prevalent. If our civilization were an aeroplane, our pilot has his eyes closed, and instead of being terrified we cheer him on and encourage his neglect of duty. 

On Referendumbs

It makes sense that the “Yes” vote in the Scottish independence referendum is strongest among people under 40, seeing how this demographic is more inclined towards individualism, ignorance, and lack of foresight and critical thought.

If Scotland should secede from the Union, might I suggest “Idiocracy” as the new name for their system of governance.

So I play a depressing amount of The Sims because my life is sad, and as a person who plays a depressing amount of The Sims I’ve ventured into “Mods” territory so I can build more interesting houses and furnish them with more interesting items, all of which I’ll never own because, again, my life is sad. 

When I first Googled “Sims mods”, a few of the top results were detailed instructions on how to remove the little censor pixels that cover Sims characters when they’re bathing or “whoo-hooing” (which is Sim’s speak for “copulating”). This means that enough people have specifically searched for instructions on how to view a cartoon character in the nude that these webpages have reached the top search results. Furthermore, many of the sites that feature downloadable content are rife with “sexy” clothes for female Sims.

So this all begs the question: Are people masturbating to The Sims?

Do these people know you can look at photographs of real nude ladies and men, and watch videos of ladies and/or men having intercourse? Have people become so sad and desperate and lonely and desensitized to pornography that they’re reduced to living out their sexual fantasies through characters in a computer game? If so, does it make it less sad that I’ve been masturbating to The Sims?

Cats

Cats

I can’t quit you babe

Some of you dumb-dumbs had the audactiy to write comments, and a few of you mailed electronic letters, asking me to reconsider my leave. I didn’t realize my inane diatribes and terrible photographs were of any worth to anyone. Unless of course the value is in making others feel better about their own talents and life choices. I can live with that.

Tumblr is also a platform for disseminating ideas, opinions, and creativity unmatched by similar sites. Also, did you know there are photographs of nude ladies from the 1930s on this site? Wonderful.

Anyway, hi. Sorry for faking y’all out. Just a reminder that life is purposeless and meaningless, and love is just a biological trick to keep us copulating in order to ensure the survival of the species. 

It’s nice to be back.

Addendum

I recently wrote and posted a piece detailing my negative feelings toward my ex and what happened at the end of our relationship. As it is coming up to a year since we last saw each other, I have been having a very difficult time emotionally. What I wrote was written in a time of great weakness and despair, and I regret it thoroughly.

I believe that my ex still does love me. I believe she misses me as much as I miss her. I believe that she made the only decision she felt she could given the circumstances. Ultimately, however, these beliefs could just be what I tell myself so things make sense.

She needs and deserves to have a partner who is present to comfort her, support her, be intimate with her, experience life with her, and in moving away I deprived her of such. It is my belief that she wishes I didn’t leave as much as I wish I didn’t, but with me being gone she did what she needed to do to move on. I forced her hand, as it were. My absence, the uncertainty of the future, the lack of satisfaction in our relationship towards the end, it was all too much.

I still love her entirely, I still miss her terribly, I still despair for her absence, I still painfully regret leaving her (and will for as long as I live). I used to say this to her all the time and it still holds true: there’s nothing that could cause me to doubt my love for her. Any anger and pain and hatred is just an expression of my own battered ego and my own self-pity, not an accurate representation of how I actually feel towards my ex. As I’ve said countless times before, she’s angelic, and to her my heart will always belong. 

I shouldn’t have posted what I wrote, and I ask that it be disregarded. I’ll be deleting it thusly. I had to return as I wish not for that trash to be on the record.

Thank you.

Goodbye Tumblr

It’s time for me to say goodbye. 

Before I go I leave with you these things by which I myself try to abide. If anyone were curious what advice I would give others, let it be these. To wit:

  • Never believe you know anything. To believe you know something closes you off to learning more.
  • There is something to learn from everyone, and yes, this includes people with whom we disagree.
  • Never take more than you need, and always give more than you can afford.
  • The Golden Rule is called “The Golden Rule” for a reason. 
  • Atheists believe there is no god with the same amount of faith people believe there is a god. The only truly intelligent answer to the question of “does God exist?” is to admit nobody knows. The only way we’ll ever find out for sure is when we die. 
  • We’re all just trying to get a good night’s rest, tread lightly. 
  • Never take for granted the things you have, there is always people with less.

So long, everyone. It was an interesting experiment while it lasted.

I leave you with my all time favourite poem, written by my all time favourite poet.

"Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep-while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?”

- Edgar Allan Poe

Anonymous asked: why did you call your blog dead inside?

I’m dead inside.

Tea For One #5, Montreal, 17th of August, 2014

Tea For One #5, Montreal, 17th of August, 2014

And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.’

A Man Without a Country; Kurt Vonnegut (via mylittlebookofquotes)

(via deforest)

Self Portrait #12 (Apologies to Vivian Maier), Montreal, 18th of August, 2014

Self Portrait #12 (Apologies to Vivian Maier), Montreal, 18th of August, 2014

Freedom for Palestine protest, Toronto, 10th of August, 2014