Hate mail can be sent to alan.w.harris@gmail.com or http://www.formspring.com/forms/?672941-YANizCEG5K
Why don’t they just find another dentist that agrees with the toothpaste?
If I were gay The Beatles circa 1964 would be in serious, serious, trouble.
Whomever submitted (through Formspring) the link for Curb online is awesome. Also, if I happen to break into your home just remind me of this and I’ll give you a free pass.
Hey guys,
How are ya?
Look, I’m really glad you’re airing Curb on your channel because I don’t get HBO and it’s a bitch to find episodes online. One problem though. You’re censuring the show! It’s really taking away from the humour. Every third word is swearing and the censuring is harshing my Curb buzz.
The CRTC allows swearing after 9 so I don’t know why you’re taking it out. Also, you let a “pussy,” a “nigga” and an “mofucka” through.
Anyways.
Thanks.
Alan
I am a big fan of your writing style and also of the things you post.
But I’m honestly scared of you.
Well thank you! I’m glad someone appreciates the hard work I put into being public enemy number one. I’d be scared of me too! I’m a sneaky little guy, always running around doin’ stuff. You don’t really need to worry unless you’re within driving distance of me, which is a lot of places. Odds are good that you’re one of the people I’m not allowed within 500 feet of though!
I know what you’re thinking about, but it isn’t so, no how. Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn’t, it ain’t. That’s logic.
Or isn’t it?
No, you’re spot on with this one. That is logic alright. Now if you excuse me I’m going to place this gun in my mouth and…
What do you think has made you the person you are today?
How do you feel about yourself?
Oh! Serious questions! You know that every fiber (fibre?) of my being tells me to write (type) jokes in here, right? I believe I’m the person I am today because I’ve experienced my fair share of hardships and had to learn at a very young age to keep a stiff upper lip, hold my head up and look forward to tomorrow. I think it’s the good old fashion British resolve (even though I’m Canadian and don’t have a lick of British in me). Comedy plays an important factor in my life, too. I’m fortunate enough to have a mum that allowed me to watch The Simpsons and old SNL since I can remember (I knew people in high school that still weren’t allowed watching such shows). This allowed me to develop a keen sense of humour and be able to take life a little less seriously.
How do I feel about myself? Well, that’s a loaded question, really. I’m an agnostic when it comes to me. I’m not sure what I am or if I even exist and therefore I don’t attempt to define what it is to be me. Right now I feel alright but this might change in an hour, a day or a year so I really can’t say.
No serious, fuck you guy.
Okay! I love you too!
This is my Uncle, please don’t laugh at him.
He was kicked in the head by a goat when he was 6.
Seen here? Canadian universal health care in action. This little guy is being placed on government operated “lily pads” and will be pushed out into the Atlantic Ocean.
So long, tiny baby. Sorry you’re too expensive for our system.
Is that why I keep finding babies when I get home? I’ve been sticking them on driftwood and sending them to Canada. I think our efforts may be cancelling each other out.
Oh my God! You’re the reason our government had to scrap police forces!
![Couple slips though security to crash state dinner
WASHINGTON — The Secret Service says it’s looking into its own security procedures after determining that two people crashed Tuesday night’s state dinner at the White House.
Donovan says the Secret Service first learned about the security breach Wednesday morning after media inquiries prompted by the crashers’ online boasts about having attended the private event.
I don’t get why everyone is making such a big deal out of this. I crash high profile events all the time! That picture up there is when I crashed Stephen Harper’s photo op during his tour in Asia. I stayed in his hotel room with him that night and everything!
[Source]](http://4.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktp84kytYa1qzzvhyo1_500.jpg)
Couple slips though security to crash state dinner
WASHINGTON — The Secret Service says it’s looking into its own security procedures after determining that two people crashed Tuesday night’s state dinner at the White House.
Donovan says the Secret Service first learned about the security breach Wednesday morning after media inquiries prompted by the crashers’ online boasts about having attended the private event.
I don’t get why everyone is making such a big deal out of this. I crash high profile events all the time! That picture up there is when I crashed Stephen Harper’s photo op during his tour in Asia. I stayed in his hotel room with him that night and everything!
Seen here? Canadian universal health care in action. This little guy is being placed on government operated “lily pads” and will be pushed out into the Atlantic Ocean.
So long, tiny baby. Sorry you’re too expensive for our system.
“Do you want your face smashed in?” is a rhetorical question and should not be answered in a smart ass manner.
1) So are you really serious about your amount of arrests?
2) where exactly do you live?
1) Absolutely I’m serious! I’m one badass mother fucker from the wrong side of the tracks! No one better mess up with me in my face because I might stab them with some sort of homemade knife device! I’m the type of person that your parents probably warned you about! The type of person that smokes cigarettes and doesn’t file their taxes on time. Look out for me!
I’m also awaiting a hearing to decide if I should be executed for my treason charge. I can’t wait to pick out my final meal!
2) Whoa! Settle down there, Skippy! If this is the person from the last one that wants to stalk me you’re going to have to put some hard work in. Take it from me, stalking people takes dedication and hard work! If this isn’t the person from the last one that wants to stalk me than I live just East of Toronto, Ontario (Canada).
